


Shepard Plays Santa

by teammako



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teammako/pseuds/teammako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard wants to celebrate Christmas without actually celebrating it and ropes Thane into helping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shepard Plays Santa

**Author's Note:**

> This was hastily proofread and I don't have a beta but I wanted to get it up before Christmas.

The problem with the Normandy was it was nearly impossible to keep a secret. Sure privacy was respected for the most part, but one person’s business eventually became everyone’s business, and with a master thief on board Shepard had stopped trying. Well, she had stopped trying until Joker had mentioned something about Christmas being around the corner.

Shepard didn’t care about Christmas. She had tried her damndest while she was still on earth to get things for her little brother but without a stable home life it hadn’t been easy. Once she had joined the Alliance, her brother following shortly after, she had pretty much given up on the holiday. It also didn’t help that just thinking about it reminded her of Ashley. However, she was asking her crew to go on a suicide mission with her, if that didn’t warrant some frivolities what did?

So there she was, halfway into the night cycle, with wrapping paper and tape scattered across her cabin. Though most aliens didn’t follow the holiday themselves they had decided to jump into the market with kitschy patterned papers. Her favorite one had pyjaks with little hats and snowflakes. 

EDI had been given strict instructions to not let anyone near her cabin so when a knock came at her door she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Siha?”

Thane. Of course it was Thane, he’d be the only one visiting this late. 

“One second!”

She shoved everything on her table onto the couch, a roll of tape clattering to the ground, and threw a blanket over it. Definitely suspicious but that was out of her hands now. At least there was a good chance he knew nothing about the holiday.

Shepard poked at her omni-tool to open the door and took a deep breath, looking around. Everything seemed to be hidden.

“Okay come in!”

The door whooshed open and Thane took a few steps in, his large eyes meeting hers. “Is everything alright Siha?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s uh fine. Just working on reports,” she said breaking eye contact. She couldn’t lie to him, not to one of the best assassins in the galaxy. There was no way he wouldn’t know something was up. Not that a normal person wouldn’t have gotten that vibe either.

“Reports. I see. My apologies Commander, perhaps I should let you return to your work. I’d hate to be distracting.” There was practically a smirk on his face, he had a way of doing that without actually moving his features. It was mildly infuriating.

“No that’s okay. I can worry about them later. Something up?”

“EDI said you were still awake, I thought I’d offer some company.”

“Oh did she now?” Shepard was going to have to talk to EDI about her selective command following. 

It wasn’t uncommon for him to find his way up to her cabin or her way down to life support in the middle of the night. There were too many worries, not enough time, sleep never came easy. 

“Um.” The couch was covered, so she couldn’t offer him a seat there and sure the bed was free but that would definitely be distracting and she really wanted to get everything wrapped before the rest of the crew woke up. He just stood there, waiting, most likely enjoying the way she was turning a bright shade of red as she tried to work out a solution.

“Goddammit. Alright, I’ll tell you what I’m doing but it’s a secret. No telling anyone.”

“I think I can handle keeping a secret Siha.”

Shepard chewed at her bottom lip and then pulled the blanket off the couch, throwing it back onto her bed. Joker’s gift, a ridiculous coffee mug that she had decided he needed, sat on top of the pile half unwrapped.

“They're presents?”

“Yeah, for uh, Christmas.”

Thane tilted his head slightly. “I’m assuming that’s a human custom.”

“It’s a holiday actually, a religious one, but lots of people who aren’t religious celebrate it. You decorate a tree, get your family and friends together, and give out presents. There’s sometimes food and singing, but I’ve really only seen that happen in the vids.”

She picked up the partially wrapped mug and set it on the table. “I just figured, with what we’re going into it could help. Even for everyone who doesn’t celebrate it. Who doesn’t like gifts, right?”

“It is considerate.” He had managed to move by her side without her noticing, which was unsurprising, but still enough to make her jump.

“Anything to improve troop morale. Can you pick that up for me?” she asked, pointing at the tape.

He nodded and handed her the roll, watching as she slapped some on the mug in front of her, creating a lumpy but fully wrapped gift.

“Alright, I think Donnelly and Daniels are the only ones left.”

“Did you purchase gifts for everyone?”

“Mhm. Wouldn’t be right if I just got half the crew gifts. You can wait for yours,” she said, pointing at him.

“Siha, getting me a-“

“Thane,” she said, cutting him off. “Did I not just say everyone is getting a gift? Pretty sure I did. You are included in that everyone.”

“It is still odd to be considered part of a group.”

“But it’s good right?” she asked.

“It is.”

She let Thane wrap the last two presents, he was far better at it than she was, which seemed unfair seeing as he probably had little to no experience with it.

“Okay now I just have to figure out how to give them out,” she said, crossing her arms.

“You visit the crew members frequently, giving them out shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Yeah but, I don’t want them to know they’re from me.”

He stared at her, mouth slightly open. “Siha, I am fairly certain they’ll figure it out.”

“They might not. I’m an asshole remember? Why would I give out gifts?”

“Siha.”

“Fiinnee. They’ll probably figure it out but I still don’t want to just hand them to them.” 

They both stared down at the pile until a wide grin spread across Shepards face.

“Actually, I think I’ve found a perfect use for your sneaky assassin skills,” she said turning to face him, grin still in place.

“I don’t believe anyone has ever referred to my skill set in quite a way and unless you want the recipients killed I don’t see how I can be of any help.”

“You’re really going to be like that?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

She threw her arms up into the air. “You are sneaky and good at getting in and out of places without people seeing. So you can hide the presents.”

He had to smother laughter, sure she wouldn’t appreciate it. “Alright Siha, I will pass out your presents.”

“Not pass out, hide.”

“I will hide the presents.”

“Thank you. We should probably wait until tomorrow night though, I think it’s getting close to the time everyone wakes up.”

\---

As far as jobs went, hiding presents was certainly the easiest he had ever had. Most of the crew were asleep and the ones who weren’t were too focused on their tasks to notice he was slipping in and out. The closer they got to being able to pass through the omega four relay the more withdrawn everyone seemed to get.

There was of course one problem.

“You know, when I sneak into rooms it’s to take things, not leave them.”

“Kasumi.”

She uncloaked next to him in the elevator, leaning over to look at the few gifts still left in his arms. He had been aware of her presence for half of the trip but she had most likely been there since the beginning.

“Christmas huh? It seems Shep is feeling a bit sentimental.”

“It is a nice thought.”

“Oh, I never said it wasn’t. I’m a bit surprised she has you passing them out, though she is as subtle as a krogan in a china shop.”

“That is one way of putting it.” 

Thane looked down at the gifts in his arm, jostling most of them to one side. “Yours should be in this pile.”

“About that…” Kasumi held up a small box and with a smile cloaked as the elevator opened.

He shook his head and set about to finishing his task. 

\---

When he returned to Shepard’s cabin the night cycle was drawing to a close. He found her sprawled out on her couch, datapad in hand. 

“Back already?”

“The night is almost over.”

She furrowed her brow. “Wow, it is. Well, I suppose there’s only one thing left then.”

“That is?”

“Your gift.” 

Shepard stood and motioned for him to hold out his hand. 

“It’s probably not useful but…” she trailed off as she set his gift in his open palm. He slowly pulled the paper off and lifted up the lid. Inside was a holo, one he pulled out with deft fingers. “I know you don’t need one, what with the whole perfect memory but after talking to Mouse I thought it’d be nice.”

They both watched as he set it down on the table and an image projected.

“It’s…Kolyat,” he whispered. “How did you…?”

“The last time we stopped at the citadel I asked Bailey where to find him. I didn’t think Kolyat would say yes but he did.”

“I see.”

“Do you like it?” she asked.

He looked at her, looked at the open earnest look on her face and smiled.

“Yes, Siha, I do.”

“Thank god because I was going to feel like an ass if you didn’t.”

He set the holo down on the table, letting it shut off, and pulled her close. “It's an extraordinary gift.”

“It isn’t easy shopping for an assassin.”

“Ha, I imagine it’s not.”

She tipped her head up and he leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. Before he could deepen it, static from the intercom jolted the two apart.

“Thanks for the mug commander!” Joker’s voice rang out.

“Goddammit EDI you weren’t supposed to tell him!” Shepard said, pulling away from Thane.

“I did not tell Jeff that the gift was from you Commander.”

“Yeah, wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. Who else is going to get me a present? Garrus?”

She snorted. “True, well, you’re welcome I guess. Figured it'd make up for all the times I threatened to decaf you.”

“I don't know about that but I’ll let Thane get back to thanking you now.” Joker laughed and the comm went silent.

“Everyone’s going to figure it out aren’t they?” Shepard asked after a few seconds.

“Most likely,” Thane said.

She frowned, almost pouting. 

“I do believe Joker had the right idea though.”

“What idea?”

“Me thanking you.”

He pulled her in again, glad that his life had taken such a strange turn.

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone wanted to know Joker's mug said "Galaxy's Best Pilot".


End file.
